Wednesday, August 8, 2007

hammy's day

Today is my darling husband Hammy's birthday. I've been planning his birthday for weeks. He's not a "party" person, being rather shy, so his birthdays are usually rather low-key. Mainly, this birthday involves lots of good food. He bought himself a new drum set a few weeks ago, so he insisted that the drums were his birthday present. I made buckwheat waffles, fried plantains and turkey sausage for breakfast. For lunch we went to our favorite meat-and-threes, Cousers.

In the afternoon, we took him to the Tennessee State Museum to see the really impressive collection of music memorabilia of Marty Stuart. I knew Hammy would enjoy it and I was correct. He could have spent hours there. I have to say that seeing Hank Williams' glasses, a letter to his mother from very early in his career and a telegram she sent to someone that reads "Come home quick. Hank's died. Mother." were pretty memorable, to me. (I discovered the music of Hank Williams when I was 14. The lonesomeness and wandering spirit of his songs spoke volumes to me. I discovered punk music at about the same time and identified with it in the same way. It's all about being disaffected and "outside". )

I grilled salmon with cous-cous and green beans for dinner and then his birthday "cake" was a homemade coconut key-lime pie (his favorite). We're all chillin' now, slowing down our day.

As we sat down to breakfast, having our "moment of silence" I understood why some Friends didn't celebrate holidays. I thought of Hammy and how I am happy to honor him through my actions on this day so he will know how much I appreciate and love him. And then it occurred to me that my feelings are the same every day (well, most anyway) and it seemed a little false, or wrong to set one day aside each year to share my gratefulness that he was born and is in my life. Obviously, I couldn't possibly spend the kind of money on food that I did for today, but just going out of my way to look at him and tell him what he means to me. I try to do that a little each day, but most of the time I take him and all his goodness for granted.

And I can understand some people feeling that way about Christmas or Easter or whatever. Our society, in general, only sets a few hours each year aside for spiritual matters (other than at the voting booth when they vote for whichever "leader" sounds the most "righteous"). I can understand feeling lead to make everyday equal by saying that any one day is more sacred than the rest. I don't know what kind of an impact it would have on society or community to take this as a personal testimony, but I could see how it would be a powerful statement in a more insular, less mobile society.

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