Over the past few months I've had the opportunity to reconnect with a variety of old friends--some I haven't spoken with in almost 30 years (how can I be that old?!). I also have a couple of friends from high school and from when-I-didn't-go-to-but-nonetheless-lived-in-family-housing-at college that I keep in touch with. One of them I talk with pretty much every week, the other about once a year. Reconnecting, for me, is more than just "hi. howareyou? whatareyouupto?" To me, the whole point of this facebook thing, is to use it to actually find a connection--something I have in common with this person who was once a good friend. Those of you who know me, and those who read this blog could figure out that I'm not a fan of the superficial. I don't want or need more shallow in my life. If I'm going to have friends, I want those friendships to have meaning and some depth. Which isn't to say that these connections must be a heavy burden or require any particular thing. I just want to keep it real.
(Dang. I've noticed that my essays seem to take on the form of a sermon, sometimes. I'm not preachin' I'm just writing out my ideas.)
I feel the same about my relationship with God. Not that God is superficial and all like "So Mary. What have you been up to? Married? Any kids? Me? I've been busy with work. I'm the Deity, you know. Yeah...oh I've done this since time began. Didn't you know that? I didn't like to talk about it but I'da thought you'da figured it out when I knew all the answers in Biology. You totally got that answer right about evolution, by the way. Mr. Jones was so off with that creationism bs. People-get a clue. I am GOD, the CREATOR. Hello? You don't think that I could create the world and create a set of circumstances which would allow everything to evolve?! Anyway, I know how you are but how are you?"
No, I think God remains consistently with me and it's me who doesn't take the time to make the connection and listen. Oftentimes, my relationship with God is very superficial. First thing in the morning: "Hey God. Help me to be aware of you throughout my day. Please help guide me so that I reflect you. Thanks." and that's the last time I think about God for hours. To truly have the intimate, deep, sincere relationship requires more than a 30 second check-in once or twice a day. As I've said before, my strongest yearning is for my life to be a prayer; for my every thought and action to be done with conscious service to God. "Not my will but thine". But that takes so much work and so much effort at awareness. I'm so far from there. I do have a job that currently seems to be taking up about 10 hours of my day and I have children to drive around and feed and laundry to wash and friends to keep in touch with and on and on. What can I do to bring awareness of God into more of my day-to-day day?
First step: Make time for writing. Think of this as letters about myself to be read by God and everybody. Get up 30 minutes before everyone else, if necessary.
Second: Hey! I like music! Play whatever it is that will inspire me. Today I'm thinking Sam Cooke and the Soul Stirrers to begin.
Third: Try to remember to take occasional breaks from work to center myself and reconnect.
Cock-a-doodle-do! It's 6:30 on this Friday morning. I need to be getting my youngest up and packing lunch and preparing to sit down and work. All for the glory of God.
2 comments:
It sure is hard to be busy and do it all "in the Presence." I think you are doing well to at least start each day with that intention. I once posted some little reminders around in my office, and that helped (a bit). I loved that little God monologue!
Little reminders would be noticed about once and then they'd blend in with all the clutter in my office and home. I think music and writing, writing and music.
It's nice for you to take the time to visit me, Mary Ellen!
Mary Linda
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