Wednesday, February 21, 2007

blah, blah, blah...attitude of gratitude...

When I think about my life I know I have so much. My life is wonderful! I've got a great husband, healthy, smart, funny kids, a comfortable (if messy) house, TWO cars, loving, supportive parents AND in-laws, a nurturing spiritual community, plenty of food to eat, an excellent library nearby and so much more. So why am I so negative so much of the time? It seems I take all the goodness for granted and let myself get annoyed by the little stuff that doesn't even really matter.
Hammy gets home from work around the time that I'm making dinner: 'The witching hour', as I've heard it called. The kids are all keyed up and are picking at one another; I'm trying to distance myself from the noise and give myself the treat of adult voices so I have NPR playing in the kitchen (often, out of stubbornness more than preference, I'll listen to the Marketplace show which I don't really care a thing about). The first thing poor Hammy has to deal with is a deep sigh from me to show him how hard my day has been, how noisy the kids are being, how much trouble I'm going to in creating dinner. It's a wonder he comes home at all!
I hear that same deep sign from my children. A few minutes ago, Carmac wanted someone to turn on his bedroom light and help him find a toy. Zed, happy to have a moment's reprieve from his schoolwork, volunteered, but sighed impatiently as he followed Car's slow gait.
Today I want to model patience and kindness to my children. Today I want to show my family how much I have that I appreciate. Today I want to be grateful.

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