There was one person in my life who, for years, I truly hated. In thinking about this person this morning, I know that I no longer hate her but only because she is removed far enough from my life that she is no longer a threat. I tried to see 'that of God' in her and hold her in God's light but I couldn't get past all that I knew about her. She would say or do anything in order to get her own way including making horrible, life-altering accusations about one of my children because she was mad at either me or some member of my family about something (the accusation was proven false by a theraputic professional to whom we took my child as a response to her accusation).
I no longer hate her but only because she can no longer hurt me. I know that doesn't count as forgiveness. I know she hasn't changed. I know that she is still manipulating the people in her life, including two people I care deeply for. I don't know how to love her. I don't know how to let go of my anger and fear to hold her in my heart as a child of God when her actions have far more harm in them than good.
I'm going to sit with this awareness today. I will hold my self and my understanding of forgiveness in the Light today.