I went to a new family doctor yesterday. The good news is that I like him very much. The great news is that I've lost 14 pounds in the last couple of months. The bad news is that the way I lost the weight is through the 'gallstone pain' method and I saw the new doctor to get a referral to see a surgeon to have my gallbladder removed which will remove the motivation for that particular diet. With gallbladder pain, I've found that if I eat very small portions and never overfill my stomach I don't have pain. When I do overfill, I have a gallbladder attack and wind up hurling for a couple of hours, which is also a way to loose weight and build stomach muscles! In having my gallbladder removed I will no longer have a reason, besides weight loss, to eat small portions. The question will be: Do I have the willpower to eat right and healthy if excruciating pain and vomiting is not the result of not doing so? I hope so. I'm really proud of my thinness! I haven't been 146 pounds since I was pregnant with Zed. I feel good about my body, healthier and not so frumpy. If I would make the time to exercise as well, I'd be really fit.
So today, I will try to be aware of what motivates me in all my actions. If the cake is good, shouldn't one bite be enough to taste it (and if it's not really good, why would I want more than one bite)? Can I eat mindfully and with awareness? Can I move with awareness? Can I choose my actions with deliberation?